My First Grader

First Day of First Grade Picture!

My sweet, sweet little baby started 1st grade yesterday.  Don't ask me how that's possible.  I'm just giving you the facts.  I can't believe it's been one year since I posted on his first day of kindergarten.

I'm happy to report that he had a great day yesterday and that we've been blessed with the same teacher that he had in kindergarten thanks to her decision to move up to first grade this year.  She has essentially kept her entire class from last year, so for Maddox starting the first grade probably feels more like going back to kindergarten after having a break for the summer.

I managed not to cry yesterday morning and I'm very proud of that.  I try my best not to see him growing up as a "bad thing."  Rather, I just try to think of how blessed I am that we're both here, healthy, and happy enough to watch his life unfold.  I'm not good at always seeing it this way, but I really try hard to keep those blessings at the front of my mind when I feel myself getting sad about him getting older.

My baby is growing up more quickly than I'd like, but I'm so thankful to have a front row seat to his life.  The things he learned during kindergarten blew my mind and made me so very proud of him.  I can't wait to see all of the things he'll do this year that will amaze me even more.

How My Son Saved My Life

It's Secret Sunday!  Link up below!

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When you become a mother, you're giving life to someone else.  But sometimes when you become a mother, your child is also giving life to you.  Just like this Post Secret submission, I honestly feel like my son saved my life.  

I found out I was pregnant when I was 20.  Seeing those two lines on that stick changed me forever.  So much so, that I can separate the "me" I am into pre-mommy time and post-mommy time.

Pre-mommy time I knew everything (sarcasm) but was doing nothing.  Sure, I was enrolled in college classes but each semester I probably ended up dropping or failing a few classes and then barely passing the others. I was in college because, well... that was just what I felt was the next step.  You graduate high school.  You go to college.  But I had no motivation at all.  

The moment I found out I was pregnant, my life changed.  I remember thinking, "Wow, I'm going to be someone's mommy and this little thing growing inside me is going to need me to have my shit together."  I never purposely messed up before I had my son, but I never purposely made sure I was on the right track either.  

I always say that having Maddox made me the me I should have been all along.  

Post-mommy time, I decided I wanted to go for my dream:  applying to law school.  I knew in order to do this I had to pull up my GPA up tremendously.  The semester before I found out I was pregnant (Fall 2004) I had a 2.41!  

I graduated with a 3.08, which is nothing to be proud of ordinarily.  But in order to do that, I had to re-take several classes.  I had six semesters left when I found out I was pregnant, and five of those I either made Dean's List (As and Bs) or Chancellor's List (All As).  The other one, I had one C... grr!  

I studied my ass off for my LSAT and ended up snagging a decent score and then I applied to law school.  I was terrified.  I remember sitting at the computer with all the necessary application documents uploaded, and all I needed to do was hit the "submit" button.  But I couldn't do it.  I bet I sat there for an hour.  

And then I realized that one day my son would have a moment where he would be scared to go for a dream because the odds were against him.  I knew that when that moment comes for him, I wanted to tell him that I at least applied to law school, even if I didn't get in.  So I held my breath and hit submit.

The rest is history, really.  I became the first person in my family to graduate from college in 2008.  Seeing my son in the audience as I entered the arena is a moment I'll never forget.  In many ways, I feel like it was him that should have walked across the stage instead of me.  

I got accepted to law school (although I still have no clue how considering over 1600 people applied and less than 150 were accepted--a 10% admission rate.)  And now I'm 111 days from walking across the stage again, this time with a much higher GPA.  And I'll be opening my own business soon.  

Not only did he inspire me to do my best academically, he just made me a better person.  I know that if I want to raise him to be thoughtful, I have to be thoughtful.  I know that if I want to raise him to be kind, I have to be kind.  All of this has contributed to the post-mommy me.  

When I think about the me I'd be without my son I either want to laugh, cry, or do both.  He inspires me.  He continuously motivates me.  

None of the above would be "my story" if it weren't for my son.  He saved me.  

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

So, what's your secret?

{New to Secret Sunday? Find out all you need to know here!}

To My Son: Who You Are is Who I Want You To Be

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This submission to Post Secret makes me so, so sad.  It makes me sad as a human.  But it especially makes me sad as a mother.  

I am probably what most would consider to be a liberal mother.  Basically the only rule we have in this house is to be respectful to yourself and to others.  Period.  In my opinion, that's pretty much the only rule that you need.  It's almost like an umbrella that covers everything that's really important.  And it works for us.  

Everything else pretty much goes.  I think that being creative and silly and having no inhibitions is such a beautiful part of childhood that we somehow (unfortunately) lose as adults.  So I let Madd express himself in as many ways as he wants to.  I think that this has allowed him to truly form (and continously form) his personal identity.  

So, when he picked up the loose powder finish I apply to my face everyday and asked if he could put some on, I didn't think twice.  Of course you can.  Here, let mommy show you how to do it.  And then we topped it off with some shimmery lipgloss.  

The week before when he wanted my sister to paint his toenails with the new polish she'd gotten for Christmas, I watched as he stared down at his shiny toes and smiled.  

His favorite colors are pink and purple, and he often tells people that.  And given the choice between picking out a pink yo-yo or a blue yo-yo as a toy at Chuck E. Cheese's, he'll go with the pink.

All of that might seem insignificant to you (just as it does to me), and if it does, I applaud you.  But, I know many, many people who would never allow their son to do those things.  They would flat out forbid them.  

But why?  In my opinion, it's fear.  It's fear that somehow allowing your son to be curious about makeup or think polish looks neat is going to mean that your son will somehow "grow up" to be gay.  

But I don't think that way.  It's just him being a kid.  No one has told him No, that's wrong.  You can't do that!! so it's never crossed his mind.  And I'm so thankful that it hasn't, because that means that other people's opinions of what he should or shouldn't be doing with his life are not holding him back.

Now, I know eventually that people will get in his head and he'll think certain things are "wrong" or that he shouldn't do them because he's a boy.  I can't control that.  

What I can control is what he hears from me.  I want my son to be the best him that he can be.  And I want him to know that he has my full support as he journeys through life and tries to discover who that him really is.  

When he walks into this home and into my arms, HE is safe.  HE is welcome.  HE is who I want to be here.  Whoever that he is, is for him to decide.  My job is just to let him know that HE is who I love.

I'd like to end this post with an article that a friend of my sent to me the other day.  She read it and said it reminded her of how I parent.  Although I can only hope to be like the amazing mother who wrote this article, I took it as a compliment.  It discusses the reaction she received from her blog readers when she posted about her 6-year old son telling her that he had a crush on a popular male TV actor and the revelations she's had throughout this experience.  You can read it here.

Now it's your turn.  How did Post Secret inspire you this week?

Secret Sunday is a series of posts inspired by the weekly submissions to Post Secret.

Click here to visit postsecret.com OR click here to visit other posts by this author in this series.

Hippies Over Cell Phones

ANNOUNCEMENT:  Secret Sunday is now a linky!

Please check out the linky info below & join me! :)

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When I saw this Post Secret submission, I knew it was the one I just had to write about!  I catch myself thinking about how differently my mother grew up than I did, and in return, about how differently my son is growing up than I did.  

My six-year old can't comprehend a world without cell phones.  (Mom, what's a phone booth?)  In fact, he can't comprehend a world without smart phones.  Off the top of my head, he is exposed (in some way or another) daily to three smart phones, two laptops, two iPods, an iPad, a Nintendo DS, and a Nintendo Wii.  

Technology is great.  Don't get me wrong, I love it.  But you have to wonder just how big of an impact it's having on your child's life when he asks you if he can bring the DS with him for a car ride to the store.  

I want his passions to be about politics and current events, not a video game.  And when I think of hippies--true hippies--I think of the reasons for their passions and reasons behind their "rebellion" from the norm.  

So, although technology is a blessing in many ways, it can also be a very powerful force in our lives that we need to stay conscious of.  As many other parents probably know, it can be hard to combat the prevalence of electronics in a child's life, but we're trying to do our part.  

In fact, just two weeks ago I announced that one of my resolutions is to designate at least a one our period per day where no one is allowed to use electronics.  This "rule" applies to all of us, not just my son.  I want to make sure we all stay conscious of how much we're plugged in.  

Although I can't bring back the 60s and the 70s for my son (or me for that matter), I can make sure that he realizes that he can survive without electronics, and I know I have to start now.  I have to start now while electronics aren't a "must" but are just something we do to have fun.  So, continue to wish me luck with my resolution!  

Secret Sunday is a series of posts inspired by the weekly submissions to Post Secret.

Click here to visit postsecret.com OR click here to visit other posts by this author in this series.

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Now for the Linky info!

I am a huge fan of www.postsecret.com.  In case you're unaware, Post Secret is a blog that is comprised of anonymous secrets that are mailed to the blog owners address each week in the form of post cards.  New submissions are posted each Sunday.  

I started Secret Sunday four weeks ago, after realizing that I should be writing about how much I'm inspired by the submissions.  There's not a single week that I am not inspired or touched in some way.  On many occasions, I can also relate to some of the submissions on a personal level.  

So, each Sunday I post the secret that stood out to me the most, and I use it as a writing prompt.  Now, you can join me!  

How to Link up:

1. Go to http://www.postsecret.com and check out this week's secrets.  [Optional:  Save the image of the submission you choose to write on, and include it in your post.]
2. Write your amazing blog post.  Please be sure to mention that it's for Secret Sunday.  :)
3. Link up below!
4. Visit the link of someone else to see what he/she wrote about and share some bloggy love!

Share your secret below!

One iPhone App That You Just HAVE to Have

The other night I stumbled across an app that is probably one of the best iPhone apps of all time and best of all, it's free!

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It's called Apps Gone Free.  Basically, the geniuses behind this app list about 5 new apps everyday that have temporarily (usually one day only) made their app free.

I love this app for so many reasons!  This obvious one is that I'm saving 99¢ to $1.99 per download.  But, I also love that it lists free apps for the iPhone and the iPad!  Not to mention that it's a great way to download new apps and not feel guilty when you never use them.

Of course you won't be interested in every app posted on AGF, but in just two days of having it I've downloaded three apps for my son: Fish Fury, Cover Orange, and Doodle Fit.

I purchased Cover Orange and Doodle Fit for the iPad about six months ago and we all love them both, so I know when the time comes to whip out the iPhone to entertain the kid, he'll be excited to see they're on there!

Although I don't let the kiddo make a habit of playing on my iPhone, it's nice to have apps that I know will bide me time when it's needed.  And of course, since this app also lists temporarily free apps for the iPad, maybe we'll discover some new favorites as well.

Today Only: Select Melissa & Doug Toys 50% OFF on Amazon!

Today only, Amazon has select Melissa & Doug toys on sale for 50% off!  AND, if you your purchase totals $25 you'll get free shipping!

This makes me so excited because I have really been eyeballing this stamp set for my son.  I've seen it on several sites for $20+ and I just purchased it for $10.00 thanks to this deal!  He's learning to read and this will be a great way for us to practicing his spelling in a fun way.

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I also purchased this magnetic responsibility chart as well, for only $10!  It comes with 90 magnets depicting behaviors and rewards.  It received great reviews on Amazon and I'll be taking one of the reviewer's ideas by awarding my son 10¢ a week for each completed responsibility task as an incentive!  Love it!

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I also picked up some paint brushes for him (for around $5) to go with some paints he'll be receiving for Christmas to make my order almost exactly $25.  I'd much rather spend $5 and get another gift for my child than spend $8 on shipping for not reaching the $25 amount required to receive free shipping.

Happy Shopping!

The Beauty & Benefits of Learning to Play the Piano: Both Music to my Ears

My little man, who just turned six, has been taking weekly-piano lessons since the 1st of September.

I've always loved music.  So of course, I've been eager to share this passion with my child since before there were two lines on that pregnancy test!   And the fact that it's beneficial to him to learn to play?  Icing on the cake!

Madd just had his first piano recital, where he played two pieces in front of about 100 people.  

This is his "I'm excited but nervous" face.  

He kinda puffs out his cheeks and tucks in his bottom lip.  

Such a sweetie.

This is more of an actual "smile."

Once we got seated, I realized that no one had ever told me how absolutely NERVOUS I would be for him.  I turned to my mother and asked her, "Were you nervous when I would perform on stage?  I have butterflies in my stomach that I was not prepared for!"  She told me that she always felt the same, which made me feel better (read:  normal). But serious--WHY didn't anyone tell me this?!

Thankfully he performed everything just as practiced.  I've never been more proud of him!  Watching your child have his moment in the spotlight to reap the benefits of his hard work is by far one of the best feelings in the world.

His first piece:  Up On The Housetop

His second piece:  O Christmas Tree

{Be sure to watch his bow at the end.}

So, now that you've seen my little man play at his Christmas recital, I'd like to share with you the five most prevalent benefits a child receives from learning to play the piano.*

1.     It helps them in school.

• Children who play an instrument score higher on both standard and spatial cognitive development tests in school. 
• Children who play the piano score higher in the area of math than children who do not.

2.     It raises self-esteem.

• Children who play the piano receive increased self-esteem with each song they master due to the dedication and time it takes to learn each new piece.
• Likewise, recitals give children an opportunity to receive praise for their accomplishments, which also increases the child's self-esteem.
• Most importantly, to me at least, is that learning to play also teaches children to keep a positive outlook when facing difficult tasks.  It teaches the child that learning is a process which takes patience and practice.  This knowledge helps children approach other tasks with confidence, decreasing the likelihood of frustration and discouragement.  

3.     It increases coordination.

• Sure it increases hand-eye coordination.  But, it also increases fine motor skills.
• Unlike any other instrument, playing the piano requires each hand to work independently of the other.  For example, one hand may be playing soft while the other is playing loudly.  Or, one may be playing quickly, while the other is playing slowly.
• Playing the piano increases dexterity and complex thought process.

4.     It helps improve concentration.

• Think about all of the focus that is required to play one piece:  the child must interpret each note and rhythm, translate those notes into actual movement on the instrument, and then immediately move forward to the next note and do the same.
• The child must read and think critically and creatively, which will assist them in many other areas in the future.

5.     It helps the child be more well-rounded.

• Children are exposed to genres of music they otherwise may never have heard, whether classical or otherwise.  
• Children may develop an appreciation for composers, such as Mozart or Bach.  
• The skills and knowledge acquired will aid them in any other musical or instrumental endeavor taken up by the child in the future.

As for my son, over the past three months I have personally noticed that he is notably better at understanding that conquering anything new takes practice and that it's okay not to immediately know how to do something.  He has always been very hard on himself and piano has definitely taught him to have patience with himself.  I've also noticed that he's able to pick out change of tempos in songs on the radio now as well as recognize when a piano is playing in the background, whereas before he didn't seem to pay attention to things.  

Overall, I am VERY glad that he is taking piano lessons.  It has been nothing but beneficial to him.  His next recital is in May and I can't wait to show him these videos six months from now so that he can see all the new progress he'll have made.  

Does your child play an instrument?  If so, let me know how you feel it is personally benefiting your child.  

*The benefits stated above were taken from this site, although the same information is available throughout numerous studies and webpages.  

The Birthday Boy (And Some Apparently Angry Birds)

Okay, so yet again I have super sucked at blogging lately.  I didn't realize it had been over a month since I'd posted until just looking back at the dates.  WOW, November flew by!

Okay--catch up post.  Where to start, where to start....

OH, What was it that The King said in Alice in Wonderland? 

"Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end:  then stop."

Yes, I suppose that's what I'll do.  And the beginning (of where we left off) would be Madd's birthday!  I still can't believe that yet another birthday party is in the books and that my little man is now a six year old.  [sigh]

His actual birthday was on a school day, so we started out with surprise birthday chocolate-chip pancakes (complete with birthday candle, of course)!

**Note, I made the pancakes myself.  If you're thinking, "Um SO?" well.... then first of all you can kiss it (and I think we all know what that "it" is) and second of all, it's obvious that you've never read this post.  Judge me if you must.**

Where was I?  Oh yes, I made pancakes.  At 6am.  Because that's just what I do I only have one kid and I guess I can sacrifice a little sleep to burn prevail in the perpetration of pancake perfection!

So rub those eyes and wake up birthday boy....

"Maddy, smile for mommy."

He smiled, but those eyes still weren't ready to open.

The day after his birthday was his party.  It was honestly the least stressful birthday party we've ever thrown for him.  For once, I felt like I got to enjoy the party too.  Usually I'm running from one end of a room to another, so it was nice to sit back and soak it all in.  

Here's a few snapshots from his special day, including a few pictures of his cake I promised I'd share.

Here's daddy with his birthday boy on the water inflatable.

He helped all the kids across (and okay, threw a few off too!)

After about two hours of swimming, we headed upstairs.

Something tells me this was the last birthday 

we'll have to read his birthday cards to him.

[Another sigh.]

And here's the cake and party favor table.

[Sorry about the poor quality of the cake close-ups.  

I took them at the house before the party in a hurry.]

Photo-op while waiting on mommy to light the candles.

I can't help but wonder what he wished for.... 

Oh, how I hope all his wishes come true!

But for now, a more serious question.

Who gets to eat which Angry Bird/Green Pig?

As you can tell by that half exhausted, but ear-to-ear grin, 

my little man had a wonderful time.

And with six birthday parties under my belt, 

I'm beginning to feel like an old pro!

Again, thank you to everyone for sticking with me through my bloggy-blahs, which I'm slowly trying to escape from.  

And a special thank you to my newest readers who found my blog by happening upon my DIY Angry Birds Invitations post and have taken me up on my offer to email me and ask for the Invitation PDF.  It makes me so unbelievably giddy to know that someone is actually taking the time to read a little bit about what's going on in our lives.  

So again, thank you so much.

And yes, if you're reading this right now I'm talking about YOU!

So quit being modest because you really rock my world.

DIY Angry Birds Birthday Invitations

Hello friends!

I've been absent from blogging for far too long (TWO months... YIKES!) and I think the best way to jump back in is to share this ADORABLE little craft with you!

My son turns six soon and he wants an Angry Birds birthday party.  Well, although Angry Birds merchandise is popping up everywhere, the brand hasn't officially started marketing birthday party paraphernalia.

But, with the help of my good friend Google, I was able to steal find an awesome idea, which made for great invitations!

Meet helmet pig:

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Did you just fall in love?  I did!  And I knew I had to make him mine!  It's actually pretty simple, although if you plan on making 30 like I did, be prepared to spend some time.  

Supplies:  

1. Green, black, grey, white, and brown card stock
2. 1/2 inch circle punch for eyes
3. 5/8 inch circle punch for the nose holes
4. A "large circle" punch for the eyes (about 2 inches in diameter)
5. A "large oval" punch for the lip
6. Glue sticks
7. Blue ink pad
8. Green ink pad
9. Sponge
10. Foam adhesive stickers 

We purchased all of our supplies at Michael's.  

If you want to keep costs down, here's what I recommend:  

1. Skip the expensive card stock for the whites and blacks and buy one poster board in each color.  The use is so minimal on the finished project that no one will notice it's not card stock.  
2. Skip the foam adhesive stickers.  (We purchased these, but ended up deciding we liked the way the pigs looked without them.)
3. Borrow or steal the punch holes!  They're pretty freaking pricey (between $4 to $15 each)!  Ouch!  We choked down the cost and justified it by saying, "Well, at least we'll have them for future projects."  (Yea right.)  But if you know someone who will lend you theirs, do it!  Or, if you have some laying around that aren't the exact sizes I have listed above, don't sweat it.  No one is going to notice if the black circles are 1/2 inch rather than 5/8 inch, trust me.  
4. Gotta sponge in the garage?  Got a Dollar General down the road?  Great, you've just saved at least $4.  Michael's sells theirs for about $5 each.  It's a freaking sponge people.  Ridiculous.  
5. Don't have a sponge?  Don't care to buy one?  Great, skip the ink all together.  No one will miss these minute details.  
6. Instead of making a card that opens up with details on the inside, put the details on the helmet!  You'll use half the green card stock this way!

Okay, so now that we're past all that... let's get down to business!  I promise this is ridiculously easy.  All it takes is time!

Click here to get the pattern.  That's right... there's a pattern!  BUT it will cost you about $5 to download IF you're not already a contributing member to Scribd.  Contribute something, and you can download it and save it to your computer for free.  OR, if you know someone SUPER AWESOME (ahem... ME) who already has the PDF downloaded, you can email HER through the email address conveniently located at the top of her blog and ask her if she'll email you the PDF.  Something tells me that she'll gladly do that.  But just for you, because she likes you.  A lot.  

Now here's all that's left:

1. Get to cutting!  You'll use the pattern to cut out the helmet, straps, head, and nose.  (If you choose to make a card that opens, you'll want to fold your card stock in half before cutting on the pattern.)
2. Get to punching!  (Notice: the eyes, nose holes, and lip are NOT to size on the pattern.  You'll use the punches for those.  Easy peasy.)
3. Get to inking!  If you choose to do this step, you'll lightly ink the outer rim of the pig's head, nose, and lip in green.  You'll lightly ink the rim of the white eyes in blue.  (You can also ink the helmet in white as shown above, but we tweaked ours a little so we skipped this step.)  
4. Get to gluing!  Everything is glued down with regular glue except for the helmet and the nose.  Those are glued with the foam stickers to make them stick up, if you choose to use those.  
5. Admire your awesome work.  

Here's how ours turned out:

{The helmet looks crazy because I erased the address and date of the party, 

as well as my phone number using photoshop in about 20 seconds.}

Rather than going by the pattern exactly and making invitations that opened up, I decided to put the details of the party on the helmet.  (This also insures that when the invitations get displayed on the fridge, it's the front of the pig that's showing, rather than the inside.  Haye, I didn't do all this hard work for nothin'!)

Ours obviously aren't as amazing as the one we modeled them from, but considering that 30 of them were made, I'm pretty impressed with myself.  And, of course, I'm using this as one of my DIY projects on My 30 Before 30 List!  Woohoohoo! (<--in my best Angry Birds impression)

Oh, and one more thing.... we purchased 6 x 9 envelopes from Walmart (about $3 for a pack of 25) to mail our invitations in.  The pigs are about 6 x 6 when complete, which makes for a snug fit.  My advice is to keep an envelope in front of you as you're gluing the helmet to the pig so that you can do a quick sight check to make sure you're not putting the helmet up so high that it won't fit into your envelopes.  ;)

The party is quickly approaching, but I hope to have time to for one more Angry Birds project before then.  If I get a chance to make it, I'll be sure to share!  And of course I must say, thank you to all of my followers and readers who have stayed with me during my bloggy break.  I really appreciate you all!  

{Note:  If you need some Angry Birds cake inspiration click here.  Or, you can also see how my son's party and cake turned out by clicking here.}

Life with Maddox

"Um, mom... I accidently spilled something.... on the ceiling."

"Girls, girls, you're both beautiful." 

[Talking to my sister and me as we were having a disagreement.]

Maddox:  "You're racing me [at Mario Kart.]

Me:  No, because if I beat you, you'll get mad."

Maddox:  "No, when I beat YOU, I'll laugh."

[He beat me.]

OUR SUPER FANTASTIC ANNOUNCEMENT!! :)

Two months ago, I posted about the baby maybes.  In that post I mentioned that I have health problems and that it's one of the reasons my husband and I haven't had a baby.  But, I didn't mention the cause of those health problems or the severity of them.  {Toward the end of this post, I'll give you the link to where you can find this information.}

So due to my health, needless to say, although my husband and I want a little one, we've decided (after speaking with specialist after specialist) that it's just not worth the risk that I carry.  INSTEAD.... we've decided that we're going to adopt!!

Yes, THAT'S the big announcement.  We're adopting!!  YAY!!  I am so, so excited!!  We're going to have a baby!!  :)  Our goal is to begin our home study during the month of September.  I cannot wait to begin the process.

Our problem now is finding creative ways to finance our adoption.  Everyone knows that adoption isn't cheap, and we're estimating that our adoption will cost between $20,000 to $30,000 (OUCH) and while I finish school my husband (who's an active-duty military member) is our sole-income provider.  But I will not let that big scary number stop us from having a baby!!

We'll be doing fund raisers, raffles, rummage sales, and tons of other stuff along the way to help us come up with the money we need to fund the adoption.  We're also accepting donations.

Donations are being collected through our WePay site.  (Hopefully within the next month, we'll be holding raffles there as well.)  This WePay site I just set up tells our story and why we're choosing adoption, as well as allows individuals to donate.  I hope that you'll consider visiting it to learn more about us.

So, this is where I need your help.  In addition to visiting it yourself, PLEASE pass our WePay site along to others.  Send it out through your email, post it on FB, "Like it," anything to get the word out about us.  We need all the exposure we can get to make this dream come true.

I've also started another site, choosing-adoption.com.  This will allow me to network with other adoptive moms and insure that my personal blog isn't all about adoption from here on out (and let's face it, it would be otherwise!)  I will still be making "big announcements" regarding adoption here as well... duh!  But, check out Choosing Adoption and pass it along as well!  :)

Thank you SO MUCH for all of the past support you've shown me.  It means the WORLD to me.  I wouldn't be the woman, blogger, or mommy I am without all of the amazing people who continuously support me and cheer me on.  So.... Operation Bring Home Baby begins NOW!!

{Whew, SO glad I could share that with all of you.  I am not good at keeping my own secrets!  Oh, and yay for babies!!}

--Update 01.25.2012:  Unfortunately, right as we started searching for agencies something very personal happened which made us rethink whether pursing adoption at that time was best under the circumstances.  It was upsetting to admit that our plans had to be put on hold, but that's life.  We haven't abandoned our dream of adopting, and still hope that 2012 will be our year!--

No One Tells You About THE MOMMY GUILT....

Everyone loves to open their pie hole anytime they find out someone is expecting to share their opinions on how the mommy-to-be's life is about to change.  

Ah.... how I love unwanted advice.

But ya know, out of all that unwanted advice I've ever received, not once did anyone mention the mommy guilt.

Oh.... the mommy guilt.

Every night I lay in bed and my mind turns on me:


You didn't play with Maddox enough today.  Oh, and remember when he asked you to watch that movie with him yesterday and you said you would tomorrow?  Well, you didn't do it.  How much TV did he watch today?  That was way too much.  You should have been bonding with him during that time.  And let me guess, you won't have time tomorrow because you need to study?  Typical.

And it goes on... and on..... and on.....

I literally beat myself up mentally.  Why did no one tell me this would happen?

And what's sad is that my baby is almost 6 years old.  I keep thinking the mommy guilt will magically go away once he hits a certain age.  It doesn't.  In fact, I think the more time that passes, the easier it is for me to guilt myself.

For example, today I found myself planning the child's birthday party.  Today.  I repeat:  I was doing this TODAY.

His birthday?  The week of Halloween!  When I stopped to think about how ridiculous I am for planning his birthday party so early this year, I realized that I do this every year.

And then I realized why I do it.  It's because his third birthday happened a few months after I started law school.  I was completely overwhelmed and busy and the time got away from me, so his third birthday party was extremely thrown together.

I felt horrible about it.  Like.... OMG, I've just ruined my child's life horrible.

I still guilt myself for that.  STILL.  The child was three.... like he even remembers!

But MOMMY GUILT never forgets!!

At first I thought I was the only mom who constantly felt guilty, but every time I bring it up to other mothers they completely relate.

We have got to quit doing this to ourselves dang it.

I'm going to make a conscious effort to cut myself some slack in an attempt to calm the mommy guilt.

So tonight when I lay down (and any other time that I start beating myself up mentally with this mommy guilt nonsense) I'm going to repeat this to myself over and over again until I believe it:

I am only human.  I am doing the best I can, and that is all I can do.  

Do you have mommy guilt?  If so, what helps you?

**While you're here, enter my current giveaway

for a chance to win $30 in Frigidaire accessories!!**

Mind Your Own Damn Business

Ten things I wish I could say to strangers 

when given unsolicited advice about my parenting skills....

Picture Source

1)  Hmm.... I'd never even considered the fact that he may be sneezing because he's allergic to something.  Wanna know what I'm allergic to?  People who don't know how to mind their own damn business!

2)  Maybe I do need to learn how to be more time efficient.  Say, while you're at the store later multi-tasking, why don't you go ahead and pick me up a bag of mind your own damn business!

3)  Thanks for the great idea!  You know, I have a great idea too!  What if.... stay with me now.... just what if.... you learned how to mind your own damn business!

4)  You sure seem to know a lot about how to parent other people's children.  But, you know what you don't know an awful lot about?  Minding your own damn business.

5)  You're right, I probably should teach him that.  You know what someone should have taught you?  How to mind your own damn business!

6)  That's absolutely fantastic.  You know what else would be fantastic?  If you'd learn to mind your own damn business!

7)  I'll get started on that right away.  You just be sure to start right away on learning how to mind your own damn business!

8)  Since you put it that way, maybe we should give him a sibling after all even though I must admit, he's never complained about being an only child.  You know what he does complain about?  People who don't mind their own damn business.

9)  Well, why didn't I think of that?  Geez, you're so smart.  Maybe you can help me out with this other problem I'm having too... See, I'm having trouble getting you to mind your own damn business!

10)  Oh, really?  Well, I'll buy that book for him then since it taught your child how to read at age 2.  Speaking of books, you know what book I've really come to enjoy?  It's in the children's section and it's entitled Mind Your Own Damn Business!

Whew!  Now, I don't know about you but I feel much better!  ;)

This post idea came from Mama Kat's Writing Workshop.  Be sure to stop by there for creative inspiration!

Ever Bribe Your Kids? I do!

My child is smart.

No really, he is.  I know he is.  How?  Mostly because he's a smart ass.

And only someone with a high amount of intelligence can be that quick on his toes at age 5.  Well, and I have other reasons too I suppose.... like the fact that he knows the downtown area better than I do (sadly, I'm not joking) and that his spatial reasoning and ability blows mine out of the water (again, not joking).

But he won't perform.

You know what I'm talking about....  The children that randomly come find you at the grocery store, asks you what your name is, and then proceed to tell you that they're 4 years old and everything else they know.

Yea, that's not my kid.

In fact, even when we're at home by ourselves I have a hard time pulling information out of him that I know he has to know.

It's getting better as he gets older, but honestly when he was 4 and his teachers told me he could count to 100 I about fell out in the floor.  MY child?!  Seriously?  I don't think I'd ever heard him count past 10.

He's five and finally a few months ago I heard him sing the alphabet for the first time.  I've known he was capable of doing it for a long time.  After all, the child's been writing his damn name for almost two years.  He'll even "accidently" slip up in front of me occasionally and admit that he recognizes that a certain letter is a lowercase "L," etc.  "Ah-HA!  You ARE smart!"

I don't know if this is because he's a boy, or WHAT but it makes parenting a little scary.  Fortunately, he doesn't act like this at school so I have confidence that he'll do well when he begins kindergarten in August.  And again, it's getting better.

Well, a few months ago I realized that I'd never worked with him on learning my phone number.  And in order to get him to ADMIT to me that he knew what it was (and to recite it on command) I knew I was going to have to bribe him.

So I did what any good parent would do.... I bribed him.

And it was the mother of all bribes.  "If you'll memorize my phone number, I'll take you to Toys R Us and let you buy anything that you want."

Yes, you'd be correct if you assumed the following two things from the previous statement.  1)  It was important to me that I be absolutely certain that he KNOWS my phone number by heart in case of emergencies.  2)  My kid is that unwilling to perform on command otherwise.

So, overnight he had my phone number memorized.  (Imagine that!)  But, to make sure that he really, really had it memorized... that it was permanently stored in his brain, I've made him recite it a few times a week over the past few months.  Let's just say I have no doubt in my mind that he definitely knows it.  (Whew!)

Well last night, the time finally came for me to live up to my end of the bargain.  Thankfully, the damage was only $50.  (We all know it easily could have been 10x that.)

What'd he buy?

Picture Source

Fun for the whole family!  It was a win.  :)  

I got what I wanted (the peace of mind knowing my stubborn child, without a doubt, knows my phone number in case of an emergency) and it only cost me $50.  

Plus, I picked a little something up for me while I was there too.  

Picture Source

Nothing like reliving your childhood, huh?  ;)

So yea, I bribed my child.  Yea, I'm sure you're "not supposed to do that."  But let me tell you... it was worth every penny!

Have you ever bribed your kids?  Do share.  

The Baby Maybes

Hello, my name is Jackie and I have The Baby Maybes.

I have a son.  He's five.  He's perfect.  

I mean, come on... just look at that face.  

What more could I ask for?  Yup, I definitely do not want a baby.

But....

He'll never have a sibling.  And I love my sister.  I couldn't imagine my life without her.  

We drive each other crazy, but I love her.  Yup, I definitely want a baby.

But... 

I have that whole law-school thing going on.  I'm super busy as is it.

I barely have time for the kid I do have.  Yup, I definitely do not want a baby.

But...

Law school is only temporary and I graduate soon enough!!

[Undergrad Graduation Picture :D]

I'd even be finished several months before any baby arrived.  Yup, I definitely want a baby.

But...

I have all of these stupid medical issues that could easily complicate pregnancy and child birth.

These health issues are the reason I put having another one in the "no go" category to begin with.  

Yup, I definitely do not want a baby.

But...

My doctors are amazing.  And so is my husband.

He'd help take care of me or we could always adopt.  Yup, I definitely want a baby.

I could go on and on and on....  and I do. 

The what-ifs of each possible outcome plague me and I always fear that I will ultimately make the wrong decision, no matter what that decision may be... 

About every three to six months I go through this process in my mind.  It always ends the same way.... with me secretly wanting another baby but being too scared to act on it, to change the flow of our lives.  In many ways, I feel so blessed by what I have that I'm scared to "tempt fate."  

Welcome to The Baby Maybes