HAH... Good Luck With That

Okay, so Pinterest has spawned a bazillion people (myself included) who suddenly think they're crafty.

I'm fine with that.  In fact, Pinterest is really going to help me knock out #5 on my 30 Before 30 list.  I'm all about stealing someone else's creativity and passing it along as my own.

But every once in a while I'll see a pin that makes me angry.  Now, if I see it once or twice--okay, mildly irritated.  But when it becomes so popular that I see it a dozen times a week, I am angered.

This is one of those pins.

Picture Source

AWWW, look.  It's a cute little sand-filled time out stool.  Isn't that precious?  I can make it and then my child will just sit there like the perfect angel that he is.  WRONG.  

First of all, the kid's freakin' feet can't even touch the floor.  He's going to fall over.  And yes, it will be your fault.

Second of all, and most importantly--do you know of ANY CHILD that would sit on a timeout stool, knowing that once alllll the sand gets to the bottom he'll be able to get up, WITHOUT getting up so that he can actually SEE the sand?!  

Allow me to answer that for you.  You don't.  Because that child does not exist.  

In real life, your child is going to be ass up, hands on the ground, looking at the sand upside down until he falls over and breaks something.  He'll either break his face OR he'll break the stool.  

So would you rather clean up blood or sand or bloody sand?  Because you're asking for it if you make your kid sit on this.  

Yes, the stool is adorable.  But this is make-believe, people.  Quit pinning this 8,000,000 times a day and for the love of God do not make this.  

Just Face It, Your Doctor Is Simply More Important Than You

Fair warning... this a rant.

I walk into my doctor's office today for my appointment.  I'm greeted by the usual faces.  I sign in and go to sit down.  Jackie, hang on... we need you to sign this new policy.  Okay.  No biggy.  It probably has to do with insurance or copays.

Nope.

I'm paraphrasing here, but it basically reads as follows:  You are now required to give a minimum of 24-hours advance notice that you are unable to attend a scheduled appointment.  If you fail to follow this new policy, you will be assessed a fee of $25 which will be billed directly to you.  We value our patients' time, and by failing to keep an appointment or provide a minimum of 24-hours advance notice of cancellation you have kept another patient from being seen during this time period.  

OKAY, TIME OUT.

Are you kidding me?  I really have to sign this? 


Yes, it's a new policy.


But whose pocket does this $25 go into?  I mean, this is more than most people's COPAY!!


[no answer]


And, since when did my doctor care about my time?  Or anyone's for that matter?  Do you know how many times I've sat in this lobby for OVER two hours only to have to reschedule my appointment because I can't wait any longer... I had to pick up my son or be somewhere else?  


[no answer]


There's no way I'm getting out of signing.  It's crap.  But I sign.

I have SUCH a problem with this policy, both as a professional and as a patient.

First of all, $25 is WAY too much!  That is such a ridiculous amount.  Not only is that higher than many copays, to many people, that's several hours worth of wages.  Pretentious much?!

Secondly, my time does NOT matter so don't pretend it does.  That's just insulting my intelligence.

I get that it's a problem when people make appointments and fail to cancel or show up. I get it.  I really do.  But isn't there a better way of going about this?

For example, my other doctor's office has a policy in place to combat the same problem.  Their policy is that if you fail to cancel your appointment with at least 24-hours notice and fail to show up two or more times within a one year period, you're subject to no longer receiving treatment there.  Basically, they reserve the right to tell you to take your records and move on.  THAT. MAKES. SENSE.

So to all those doctors out there who simply wish to pad their pockets when a patient accidently misses an appointment once every year or two rather than weeding out the patients who continuously fail to show at scheduled appointment times by refusing to work with them anymore:  GET OVER YOURSELF!!

[end rant]

Take Your 'Toy' & Shove It!

Remember when you were a little kid and your mom would pull up to the drive-thru?  It was always such a treat to see this...

Picture Source

And why was it such a treat?  Well, sure the chicken nuggets rocked!  But that wasn't why!  It was for the toy.  

Ah.... the toy.

It was always something you could play with... ya know, actually enjoy.  

"I wonder which one I'll get this time, mom!"

A barbie?  

A Hot Wheels Car?

Maybe Batman?  

Or, possibly even The Lion King himself!

What has happened?!  I mean, I know that the quality of the toys are never going to be as awesome as when we were kids, but even WITH lowered standards I find myself thinking.... what is THIS crap?!

I mean, my son actually got THIS as his kids meal toy a few days ago.  

Picture Source

WHAT.IS.THIS?!

What can he do with THIS?!

My husband had to put it together (and did so only out of pure amusement).  And of course my son had absolutely no interest in it.  

The thing is made out of paper!!  I've had paper CUTS that were more amusing to my child.

He doesn't even ask what toy he's going to get in his kids meals on the rare occasions we eat fast food.  He doesn't care.  There's ZERO expectation that it will be anything of interest to him.  

It's sad honestly, and it's a little pathetic.  

If companies aren't going to put a toy into the kids meal that will at least give the child some sort of entertainment, if only for 10 minutes then just don't put them in there!  SPARE ME!  I'm sick of picking the crap up out of the floorboard of my car because it's been immediately dismissed by my kid.  Keep the "toy" and lower your prices.  

AND SPARE THE ENVIRONMENT!  I mean good GRIEF, everyone keeps blabbing about Green THIS and Green THAT and fast-food places are throwing cardboard "toys" into the millions of kids meals they pump out a day.  

They're honestly more likely to make a kid of the 21st century happy by placing a tiny little message on the chicken-nugget box that says, "In lieu of giving you a piece of junk cardboard monstrosity and labeling it a "toy" we've donated 25 cents toward saving the rain forest!"

Until then, they can just take their TOYS and shove 'em!

Just Call Me The Grammar Fairy

I love Tastee Freeze, like love it.  

You know when you're a little kid and you say that you love something and another bratty kid would say, "Well, if you love it so much then why don't you just marry it?"  

Yea, well I love it that much.  

Obviously I'm already married, but it's definitely a love that boarders upon the level of having an affair with it.  Fortunately, my husband doesn't mind.

And you know how those we love the most are the ones that can drive us the most batty?  Tastee Freeze is no exception to this rule.  

I found its only flaw.  Here it is.

"Every order is prepared fresh.  So if you get your order in less than 5 minutes--its probably not your's."

This.  Sign.  Makes.  Me.  Crazy.

So crazy in fact, that I bring it up to them every time I go through the drive-thru.  In fact, they expect me to bring it up now.  This exact conversation has taken place on several occasions.

"Haye, you know your sign is grammatically incorrect, right?"

"Yes, you know you're the only one that tells us that, right?"

"Really, no one else has ever noticed this and brought it to your attention?"

"Nope.  No one.  Are you an english teacher or something?"

"Nope.  Just your average citizen who cares about the future of our written language."

I like to think of myself as the grammar fairy.  And I have a job to do.

And, although it's pointless, I'll continue to bring it up.  Don't worry, it's all in fun.  I don't say it in a rude way and the employees (as well as anyone in the car with me) almost always laugh at me.

But unfortunately, my husband has explicitly told me that I am NOT allowed to make Tastee Freeze a new, grammatically-correct sign to take up there.

Yes, I've asked him... multiple times.