Thursday, July 28, 2011

Back AWAY From the McFlurry aka One Small #Fail for Man; One Giant #Fail for Mankind

So, I posted last Tuesday about this ridiculous diet that I was going to attempt.  

I lasted five whole days (which I happen to be very proud of, thank you very much) before I gorged on popcorn while watching a movie about this boy named Harry Potter.  You've probably never heard of it so I'll move on....

That #dietfail aside, I did manage to redeem myself and have done well.  I've even lost 6 pounds.  Holla!!  

However, today.... I did something really bad.  

But it's not totally my fault.  In fact, I write this post as a warning.  This is no joke people.  You have every right to be alarmed.  In fact, if you're not alarmed yet you better check your batteries because your no-freaking-way detector is obviously not working.

Now hold on to your love handles because you are in for a surprise.  

You see, several months ago McDonald's did something amazing horrible.  It combined two of my greatest weaknesses into one delicious disastrous temptation.  

It took this...

and then it added a little of this....

to create THIS masterpiece

Isn't she beautiful?  Yea, I thought so too.  

I should have known from the start there was a catch, that it was too good to be true.  But alas, love is blind.  So I ignored the signs that were right in front of my face all along.  

I loved her like I've never loved before, even if only from a distance as I chugged my low-fat fresh fruit smoothies.  But they could never be her.  No, this had to stop!  I had to have her... to make her my own!

So tonight I told my diet, "Diet, I need some space... some time to reflect on us.  Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything crazy.  I'm just gonna go hang out with my friends, I promise.  You can trust me."

And being the amazing Diet that he is, he let me go.  Deep down, I think he knew I wouldn't be faithful, but what could he say?  He had to let me try things my own stubborn way.

So I left, and I grabbed the McFlurry.  It was everything I'd been craving this past week.  I was so happy.   

That is, until I learned her deep, dark secret.  One so shocking and heinous that I can never look at her the same again.  

She contains almost 700 calories for a regular size!! SEVEN hundred!! 

This is an actual photograph taken of ME at the exact moment I found out.  
[Caution:  Image may be disturbing to younger viewers.]

Okay, so maybe that's not the actual photo of me, but it's a pretty dang accurate depiction of how it all went down.  Such a tragedy....

After the shock wore off I returned home to Diet.  Needless to say he's upset that I cheated, but he forgives me and we're going to try to work things out.  I'm going to try to be more faithful from now on and hopefully, over time, things will get easier.  

Until then, well.... I'll always have the memory of her, at least for the next 3 months while I try to sweat her off at the gym.  And, if I can save just one person from herself and the tasty, diet-destroying wrath of the Rolo McFlurry, then my job here is done.

**While you're here enter my current giveaway
for a chance to win $30 to spend on Frigidaire accessories!**

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