Thursday, June 23, 2011

Mind Your Own Damn Business

Ten things I wish I could say to strangers 
when given unsolicited advice about my parenting skills....

1)  Hmm.... I'd never even considered the fact that he may be sneezing because he's allergic to something.  Wanna know what I'm allergic to?  People who don't know how to mind their own damn business!

2)  Maybe I do need to learn how to be more time efficient.  Say, while you're at the store later multi-tasking, why don't you go ahead and pick me up a bag of mind your own damn business!

3)  Thanks for the great idea!  You know, I have a great idea too!  What if.... stay with me now.... just what if.... you learned how to mind your own damn business!

4)  You sure seem to know a lot about how to parent other people's children.  But, you know what you don't know an awful lot about?  Minding your own damn business.

5)  You're right, I probably should teach him that.  You know what someone should have taught you?  How to mind your own damn business!

6)  That's absolutely fantastic.  You know what else would be fantastic?  If you'd learn to mind your own damn business!

7)  I'll get started on that right away.  You just be sure to start right away on learning how to mind your own damn business!

8)  Since you put it that way, maybe we should give him a sibling after all even though I must admit, he's never complained about being an only child.  You know what he does complain about?  People who don't mind their own damn business.

9)  Well, why didn't I think of that?  Geez, you're so smart.  Maybe you can help me out with this other problem I'm having too... See, I'm having trouble getting you to mind your own damn business!

10)  Oh, really?  Well, I'll buy that book for him then since it taught your child how to read at age 2.  Speaking of books, you know what book I've really come to enjoy?  It's in the children's section and it's entitled Mind Your Own Damn Business!

Whew!  Now, I don't know about you but I feel much better!  ;)

This post idea came from Mama Kat's Writing Workshop.  Be sure to stop by there for creative inspiration!

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